"Do or do not, there is no try" said one of the greatest green philosophers of recent times. And then... he died. Stupid ass Yoda, come back here! I need more guidance you selfish son of a... uhm... I mean... Luke needs you... so that... he won't accidently french-kiss his sister. Yes. That!
Ofcourse try hard as we might, Yoda is gone and I am now left to deal with all the complexities of my life on my own. Well... there was that old japanese maintance guy who offered to help me by teaching me the secret crane-kick-of-life-improvement but.... I think he just wanted to sleep with me. The whole wax on wax off part was a dead giveaway. I mean... if I want to do some waxing off I'll do it on my own arigato you very much!
Soooo... back to my life, right? Here's the thing about me - I suck at managing myself. I mean, there are only so many hours in a day and between my work, porn, world of warcraft AND the fact I have a girlfriend - I can barely manage to find any time for anything else. And porn aside, I have quite a lot of things I need to be doing. Studying, working on my comic, preparing for the apocalypse (really, that thing is like... right around the corner!), working out, taking care of my doggie... man... I haven't had time for any of it lately. For fucks sake - if the zombies come now they will find me out of shape, with no supplies, and with only a fat lazy dog to eat in case I must barricade myself in the toilet. Which reminds me... I should really take the dog out on a trip... and... clean the toilet.
Often, when one has hardships in his life, he turns to religion, and at some point I realized that I myself needed some divine intervention. I needed a deity, a divine being, a holy figure, a saint patron of men who fail - I needed Al goddamn Bundy! (Maaan... I wouldn't mind getting me some Kelly Bundy as well but... that's a whole other story). And so began me watching reruns of Married with Children.
I sat in my living room like a hermit in a cave, with long hair, unkept beard, foul body odor and a ton of snacks. Every episode I saw brought me that much closer to enlightment, that closer to nirvana. Watching Al fail over and over was spiritual, theraputical, educational. He is, was, and forever be, the master of fail. My hero. My model.
And then it hit me. As bad as Al failed in life, I was doing worse. That was a fucking Budha moment right there on the spot. I saw the ultimate truth. In looking at Al trying to sell a batch of shoes to the city hall I saw both my present and my future. Is this what awaits me? Failed projects, lack of sex life, a miserable job and ridicule from my neighbours?
My gaze slowly shifted around from the dusty old TV in front of me to the mountain of snack wraps, week old pizza boxes and a dozen of empty beer bottles on my coffee table. From there I looked around - my living room was a mess, clothes and bags thrown around mixed with cat food and dog fur. "How the hell am I still having sex?" I thought to myself. Then... I looked down and recoiled in horror at the beer gut I seemingly developed. "What the fuck happened?" I screamed to myself. "I used to be hot! I had a six pack! Women at work used to drool at me as I walked by in the hallway! Damn you beer and pizzas! Damn you all to hell!" I shook a mental fist and threw a fit. This had to change.
To say that I just got up and changed my life around would be awesomely untrue. Like most beginnings, this one was slow and painful. And I'm still talking about getting off the couch damn it! Hey don't look at me like that... it's harder than it sounds! Really...
Once I did get up though, progress was not as fast as I'd like but it was still progress. I managed to clean one room in the house, one! That'd be my workroom, so now I have some space to work on my comic and return to my studies. I also began working out again (damn I'm out of shape), laid off the pizzas and fastfood and some day next week... I'm even planning to do the laundry! (Hey, you can only recycle your socks so much... right?)
So what does it all mean for the comics? Well... even with this new after-intervention-me I still can't promise that I have completely improved. I can't just promise to magically level up and manage to keep up with all of my deadlines. It is part of my hell-knows-how-many-steps-program though. I do plan to upload the next page this monday (28.7) and if all goes well keep up with a page the following week as well. So allow me to try and revive this website one step at a time and stick around to watch me make the effort.
Yours truly, me.